Here I am, writing my morning pages day after day (for the most part). Ninety nine percent of the time they make no sense. Mostly, they are a brain dump of to-do lists and even grocery lists. Sometimes they are total rants about stuff that frustrates me but would be completely unproductive to say out loud. They are not “creative,” they are not intentionally about nurturing creativity. But something is happening.
I think of the shift as mostly internal but in fact, things are actually happening… like, in the real world!
1. I am slowly and surely creating a body of work.
2. I have an Etsy store now (which I started just for accountability) with 50+ listings.
3. I am establishing a unique recognizable style.
4. I have sold 40+ prints online and off and even more exciting, my customers are so happy with the end product. I’ve even had a few repeat customers!
5. I also earned my storefront on Minted, which is still in process but getting there.
I’m getting a lot of validation—which is huge for my baby artist. It’s probably the most I’ve ever received for my art. And truly, that began… with me… and the morning pages… and the artist’s dates… and the fake-it-tip-you-make-it-faith-in-myself enough into making this thing as a priority.
All of this came up for me in Chapter 8—the realization of how much I have subjugated my passion to anything and anyone that has ever asked (or demanded) my time, energy and attention. I can see my pattern of wanting to please and wanting harmony and wanting to be supportive and wanting to do “the right thing” for what it is also—an excuse for me not to face my fear of rejection and keep that Art Dream up high on the shelf to save for later when I’m old and have time for such foolishness.
It’s not so easy, when there is the serious task of “being a grown-up” to attend to, especially a grown-up with my own kids to nurture. But the truth is, it is not impossible either (although the world/culture/people like to say otherwise). But first off, I have to want this dream and I have to really protect it. I’m finding that whatever issue I’m working out in this process is giving me the strength to stick to it.
In Chapter 8, Julia invites us to re-parent ourselves. That’s HUGE! In all the self-development/healing circles I’ve been in, this is it. Our early foundational relationships color everything.
Perhaps this is why I take my job as mom so seriously. I want to give my kids their best chance. That’s what it was all for… the divorce, the cultivation my tribe, the move, the job… and the extreme discomfort of working out my own crap. Truly. Even this art thing is for this purpose to some extent. I mean, how can I tell them to go for their dreams if I won’t do it for myself?!?!?
Funny, what you do for offspring.
So our marching orders for Chapter 8 are as follows:
1. Name your dream
2. Write down a tangible/measurable goal (that signifies that you have achieved it)
3. Do ONE thing. Every. Day. To move yourself closer to that dream.
Some of my stuff so far…
The Artist’s Way Posts
Week 1: Recovering a Sense of Safety
Week 2: Recovering a Sense of Identity
Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power
Week 4: Recovering a Sense of Integrity
Week 5: Recovering a Sense of Possibility
Week 6: Recovering a Sense of Abundance
Week 7: Recovering a Sense of Connection
Week 8: Recovering a Sense of Strength
Week 9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion
Week 10: Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection
Week 11: Recovering a Sense of Autonomy
Week 12: Recovering a Sense of Faith